Chronic Illness Diaries: The Gift of Empathy
It’s been a second since I started this “series,” but I wanted to pop back in with a more impromptu post that fits well with the chronic illness experience. Chronic illness takes many things from you, but it also can give you some things in return. One of those “gifts” is the capacity to grow in empathy.
I cannot speak for every chronically ill person here, but I know for me personally, the many layers of struggle that I have experienced throughout my chronic illness journey has widened my capacity to feel and identify with the pain of others. There is something humbling and life-changing about experiencing layers of physical weakness, pain and limit. You begin to learn just how valuable the support and emotional empathy of others can be. In turn, you start to see the pain and suffering of others differently. At least I do.
I think empathy is a priceless gift. The more we go through in life, the more we are able to understand and relate to others when they go through similar types of struggles. And we are able to support them in ways that many other people might not know how. Here are some ways that empathy can enrich your life and the life of others around you.
1.) You are more likely to notice those who many won’t
When you have experienced certain situations or struggles, you are more acutely tuned in to others who share similar experiences. If you have struggled with depression, you are more likely to take note of someone else who battling their mental health. If you deal with chronic fatigue and know how hard it is to be limited, you are more likely to be concerned about another person who is in a season of extra fatigue. While others may still notice and care about someone suffering in those ways, if you experience those things personally you are more likely to really see and appreciate someone else’s struggles there—because you can firsthand relate to how they are feeling.
2.) You are more likely to connect with others in a meaningful way
When you cultivate empathy from your own experiences of struggling, you are able to develop deeper and more meaningful connections with other human beings in many ways. Even if they aren’t in the “same boat,” empathy helps you tune into other human emotions that make a person tick. You can begin to see a person for who they really are deep down, rather than what appearances may show. You understand and appreciate the layers to someone’s personality and story and can connect intimately with different types of people in different stages of life as a result.
3.) You are better able to touch others in ways they need most
And finally, when you have gone through difficult seasons of suffering, especially something like a chronic health condition, you learn firsthand how to love and support people in effective ways. You learn how to encourage someone suffering in ways that will be well-received because you know what does and does not help from your own experiences. Every time I go through a new facet of my chronic illness journey, I learn more about how to best encourage or help someone else who may be in a similar state. While I can’t always follow through on my intentions, I catalog the information for future use, and find that I am able to share with others what is most helpful.
4.) Your life becomes richer
Truly at the core of all human meaning and fulfillment is relationship. Relationships with others—friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances, coworkers even strangers—have the ability to make or break our lives. Even if life is hard, when we have meaningful and life-giving relationships with others, we are far more fulfilled than if we had everything else and no deep relationships. I truly believe one of the best ways to be a great friend, family member, neighbor, etc. is to develop and cultivate empathy for others. Empathy can help disarm our hurts, strengthen our compassion, move us to action, and help us have patience with a difficult person. When we learn to relate to more variety of human experience and emotion, we learn to relate and care more about the sufferings of others.
While empathy enriches our lives, it can still be difficult. Empathizing with others’ pain means we feel it ourselves to a degree. But if we learn to embrace empathy as a noble trait, despite the ways it may increase our own pain at times, we learn to touch others in a way that is infinitely more rewarding!
What about you?
Whether you have experienced chronic illness or something else, I’m curious to know if you can relate to this at all. Do you feel like your struggles have taught you to better empathize with others?