Happy Fall!

I apologize for my lengthy absence! The past few months have been a whirlwind of unexpected trials, health challenges and setbacks, life changes and transitions. Blogging, therefore, dropped down to the bottom of the priority list.

But I am happy to be back just in time to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year with you all—fall! The songs say that December is the most wonderful time of the year but I disagree. October is by far my favorite month and, based on the the fall hoopla at every grocery store, Starbucks and Instagram, it seems I’m not alone in that decision.

Pumpkins and pumpkin flavored goodies, mums, crimson and amber leaves, scarecrows, apples, corn mazes, hayrides, bonfires, hot cider, scary movies, football games, cool breezes, crisp evenings, moody skies, costume parties and…did I leave anything out? These are the images I picture when I think about the autumn season. After months of long, often humid days in the hot sun, fall is a welcome breathe of fresh air.

Fall Nostalgia and Reunions

I spent the first few weeks of October in Northern Virginia, outside of D.C., where I used to live for a few years after college. I got to visit with many special people, including my sister, and complete my visit as a bridesmaid in a dear friend’s wedding.

I was reminded that no matter what life continues to bring, I will always have those special memories and will always have these true friends. This visit was an unexpected and unplanned gift that reminded me how God continues to take care of me and even bless me with real joy and rest in the midst of a tumultuous time.

The Adventure Continues

Unlike January, autumn feels more like the start of a new year for me. Blame it on the school year calendar, but I always feel like fall is the time for fresh starts and change. It isn’t always easy— but it’s exciting. And right now the time to reset and shift gears with the season couldn’t be more timely with my personal life.

My life is unpredictable. My future is unknown. My illness continues to waver up and down and present new and expensive challenges monthly. I’ve now gone through my second difficult breakup in the midst of this Lyme fury and am facing a hoard of inner demons head on. Looking at all of my circumstances and challenges—it’s easy to start panicking. It’s easy to despair and worry that I will be sick forever and never able to get on my own and start to “live” like the independent adult I want to be. It’s easy to worry that I will never find love again or learn to deal with my ever-increasing mountain of relational baggage.

You know what, though? Somehow, this past month has helped me realize that I can look at this tangled spiderweb of problems and live in fear and anxiety about everything OR I can look at the next chapter as an adventure. While change is scary and daunting, I also think it can be freeing and exciting.

If going back to visit my friends and old stomping grounds reminded me of anything, it’s that I am not alone in this feeling. Sure my situation is unique, but many of my friends are also riding that roller coaster of the unknown and battling trials of their own. That’s life. A roller coaster of ups and downs and twists and turns.

I don’t know what’s around the corner, but I am sure that this is a prime opportunity for me to continue practicing steadfastness as I truly give my tangled web of life to God and trust him to be steering me where I need to go. In the meantime, I’m going to continue enjoying pumpkin flavored everything and reveling in these brilliant leaves before they completely surrender to gravity!

What about You?

How do you feel about fall? Does the change of season bring a sense of excitement and refreshment to your life? I’d love to hear!